Thanksgiving 2017

It’s been one of those incredibly frustrating nights of being a parent. I’m writing this while Im trying to put Augie down for the second time tonight. He’s been stuffy and gassy and hungry a lot lately and it’s really taken a toll on my sanity. I’m pretty sure there hasn’t been a conversation where I haven’t forgotten what I’m saying in the last 2 weeks. I know this can’t last forever, but it’s also crazy difficult to see through the haze.

However, even during the difficult times I’m lucky that I tend to also look for the blessings. Like I did during Sean’s surgery, I could relatively easily point out the things that went right when it felt like everything was wrong. Even though I’m losing sleep and cognitive ability, I have 2 amazing little boys who make me smile every day and an incredible husband who takes on a good load of work around the house. 

I’m grateful that these three are all home safe and healthy after a long year of medical trials and that we have decent insurance so we’re not paying the full $130,000 dollars we owe. I’m grateful for the experiences that we’ve had that have brought us closer together and for the family and friends who’ve helped us shoulder the burden with babysitting, meals, and long talks. 

I’m grateful that I’m able to be what I’ve always wanted to be. When I was little, I’d play Mom all the time, even going so far as to stuff toys up my shirt pretending to be pregnant. I love playing Mom with the kids I’ve been blessed with and it’s even better than I imagined, even with the hard days.

I’m grateful for an exceptional husband. He brings out the best in me and makes me happy. I still get butterflies when he comes home at the end of the day (whether I’m just glad to see him or I’m in dire need of parenting help). 

I’m grateful for parents and a sister whose relationships I’ve been able to grow and mend this past year. I know I’m not always the best daughter/sister, but I’m glad to be able to be working at it. 

Thanksgiving is my absolute most favorite holiday and I’m so glad I got to host my parents this year and that it all went so well. (Yes, now I’m finishing writing this after a good, delicious Thanksgiving) Now onto Christmas with 2 super kids! Yay!

Live & Learn

Tonight was a rough night. Well... the entire day has been rough. Lately, Milo has been regressing. He’s had maybe a dozen potty accidents in the past few days, he’s denying everything I tell him (even if it’s blatantly obvious. For example- Me: “we’re at home” Milo: “we’re NOT at home.”), and he’s been especially whiney. I knew this would happen because it usually does with a new baby around, but I was really hoping it wouldn’t. 

Yesterday, I was less patient and more demanding. Sean was the good parent then and helped him through his big emotions. Tonight, after pushing in nursery and yelling at/hitting Dad and having yet another potty accident, I took the role of reasonable parent and tried to help explain the emotions to him. We talked about what makes us sad and happy and why we shouldn’t push and how we should go to the potty before we pee our pants like big kids.

When he finally got in bed, Augie woke up from a too-short nap and then just started screaming for a solid half hour. I tried everything. Nursing, bottle, pacifier, rocking, singing, gas drops, changing his diaper and clothes... nada. Finally, I just put him on my shoulder and hugged him tight while I tried to figure out a next step. Within minutes, he was out. All he needed was a hug. 

It’s so easy to jump to frustration and consequences when little kids misbehave, especially when the misbehaving has been going on for days. Days like these are important for both parents and kids, I feel, because we each need to recognize and identify emotions and learn how to cope with them. 

Of course, there are still consequences for Milo’s inability to listen to instructions. Tomorrow he will have to help clean up all the hundreds of toys that are out in the living room (I’m counting each hot wheels car as an individual toy, plus all the other things that are out) and work hard to remember to say he has to potty before an accident happens. But, along with that there are rewards like popcorn for snack time after he helps clean and a special grocery store treat if his undies can stay dry for the entire day. Plus, tomorrow we’re having a family night about nice/naughty and happy/sad. Here’s hoping it goes well and is a lesson learned. 

Now to bust out the pretzel m&ms and watch a few shows before crashing out for the night.