Some Catching Up To Do

Hi again. It's only been like... 7 months. That's fine! You get it!

Let's do it like this


Milo:

Milo turned 3 last July! He's growing up so fast! He's been a good big brother, even though sharing is still new territory. He's a very picky eater, but a good sleeper. He's still really into dinosaurs, but he's also taken to outer space. He loves building legos, jumping and running around (especially on my new couch and pillow), reading books, watching shows and learning. He also loves helping me bake treats and make meals. He's almost fully potty trained besides a few accidents here and there because he doesn't want to stop what he's doing. He filled a potty chart and earned a Buzz Lightyear toy that he hasn't put down since it came home!
He's started a Dance class that he really seems to like and we're doing Joy School (a preschool co-op) with a few neighbors and that just started today. He's excited to be getting out and learning new things!

August:

Augie turns one this month! He's a speed-crawler, can go up stairs, climbs on anything he can, and is a really sneaky little punk. Augie absolutely loves food and is sorely disappointed when you try to feed him baby food or anything different that what is being had by the rest of the group. He's still nursing (which is a major win for me! I was really only barely expecting to make it to 6 months!) but isn't the best sleeper. Within the last month he's started sleeping through the night, most nights. His eye and hair colors are still mostly indeciferable (Brownish Blue-Green, and Straighter Redish Blonde). He's got 5 teeth, and is currently working on maybe 3 more.

Sean: 

Sean had a follow-up MRI, which looked clear. He was feeling nervous about another tumor for a while, but he's just fine. He's since started taking medicine for it and had some dizziness tests run, so he's still recovering but doing well overall.
He started taking classes to get his Architecture degree. He took one last spring semester and then took a break over the summer and started back up this fall with a full load, but he's enjoying it and doing well. Work has been about the same for him, but he's still enjoying his job so that's definitely a win!

Ellen:

I've been pretty normal, besides that I've picked up a few hobbies that I'm pretty excited about! I've really enjoyed baking and decorating cakes lately, which is super fun and fantastic! Not to mention yummy! I made Milo's Yellow Submarine birthday cake and a chocolate pb pretzel cake and I helped a friend make a white cake which she decorated. I'm planning out Augie's birthday cake too, which will be so fun!
I've also started hand-lettering and bullet journaling! My sister gave me a bullet journal for my birthday and it's been so fun experimenting with it by doing a little journaling and a little lettering and doodling. I've been needing to find something for myself to do that isn't just watching my kids or endlessly scrolling on my phone, and I'm finally doing something I really enjoy, even if I'm not great at it yet! I've also got a little more time to myself since Milo and Sean have started classes, so getting myself to do something has been amazing!

The Donner Family:

We went to Minnesota for a Donner Reunion this last July (over my birthday) and it was really nice seeing all of Sean's parents, siblings, their S.O's, and all the kids! We stayed in a nice rental house that was right on a lake and it was really comfortable and perfect for our bunch! We also got to see some friends and a few of Sean's extended family. We went pontooning (even though it broke down a number of times), shot off air compressor rockets, had a funny birthday cake, and tons of other stuff. One of the days we were in the cities, we went to the Science Museum and it was AMAZING. Seriously like one of the most largest, most interactive, most fun museums we've ever been to.

We've got another trip coming up with my family to Oregon that we're really excited about! Sean and I have started doing puzzles together in our basement, where he also does his homework. It's a nice little getaway spot right inside our house!

Anyway, I don't know when the next time I'll post will be, but I'm sure you could just check my instagram and see where we are whenever. @regulardonners

Miss Ellen

Us Recently

A quick update on things. I guess it's been like eternity since I blogged. I blame it on the endless amounts of laundry I'm doing and the accidental naps I've been taking... Milo's been really good about it though. He doesn't wake me up for like 20 minutes, doesn't get into anything, and stays in the general area.

We completely took out his naps and bumped up bedtime and it's actually gone really well for us. He's typically in a better mood than he was for a long time and I don't have to put him down while Augie is screaming or wait to put him down till Augie is asleep. So it's overall just better.

We had a really hard time with accidents for a while. It was multiple times a day, often going all the way down his legs into his socks. And a couple times it was poop. gross. And we tried all kinds of things to get him to go back to being good at pottying but nothing worked. Not bribes, not punishments, nothing... And then one time after making him go potty when he kept telling me he didn't have to, I did a "Dry Undie Dance" and it literally changed everything. Every time he can get to the potty without pee in his pants, he and I do the dance and then I wipe him, he hops down and washes his hands, and it's back to playing. So ridiculously easy but so far today (after doing for this less than a week) he's only had one small accident. No big deal!

He still doesn't always love eating, but to avoid the whole "short order cook" business in our house, I put the normal dinner on his plate and make sure there's something on his plate he definitely will eat and theres no pressure to eat anything he doesn't want to. So far he's tried so many more foods than if I was forcing him to try things. It's still frustrating when the only thing he eats is bread, but at least he has been more adventurous. I also learned that when he's starving 30 minutes before dinner is ready, to give him vegetables as a snack. That way he'll get in his veggies by playing it as a snack and not part of the meal. Works like a charm!

Augie is 5 whole months old now! He can roll both ways, has started trying to scoot forward occasionally, and is relatively good at sleeping. He's happy to sleep in his crib and I'm planning on starting putting him in the same room as Milo for bedtime next week when Sean starts school (more on that later!). He poops SO much. Like... I didn't expect this. I can count on my fingers how many times Milo had a blowout and Augie has done it an average of daily since birth. I mean I should expect this since he's nursed and Milo was formula fed.

I really appreciate having both the experiences of formula and breast, because now I feel like I can relate with more moms now. I also found out recently that I likely have a condition called D-MER. It's a physiological response to the let-down reflex that brings on negative feelings. I get really sad and exhausted tired for 2 or 3 minutes at the beginning of feeding and then it's gone as fast as it came and I'm happy again. So weird. I know a lot of moms would wean because of this but it really doesn't bother me too much besides those few minutes. Plus I don't thing Augie would take formula very well.

Sean starts a few classes next week! It's exciting to see him prepare for our future doing something that he loves. It's also absolutely terrifying thinking of all the time he'll be away from home and all the pressure that puts on me... but it's all for the cause, right? He's studying to be an architect and I'm so proud of him working so hard. We'll adjust and then someday he can possibly design our dream home. Wouldn't that be amazing? I think so.

I'm just doing normal mom biz. I've made a few friends in our neighborhood that I really like and that I feel like I can rely on and ask for help from. And I feel like they don't feel bad asking me for help too, which I really appreciate. I'm working on rebuilding my wardrobe since my body is so different than before I was a mom and almost all of those clothes don't fit or look right or do mom stuff. Plus I've felt really shlumpy the last year just wearing whatever fits my pregnant or nursing body and I am really trying to pick clothes I love and that I feel good in instead of whatever is on clearance. Which means I'm spending more money but I'm also getting better quality clothes that look good. So it's worth it.

Anyway, that's us right now. Yay!

OH. I guess I forgot to mention that Milo had to have some stitches. And Sean had a staple in his head for a while too. We're still ready to be done with doctors and hospitals... whenever that happens. 

The Nursing Struggle

I can't believe Augie is almost 3 months old! And that it took this long for me to stop loathing nursing. Not just being uncomfortable or in pain or trapped feeding him, but all of it combined into a serious loathing. Luckily, though, I'm already on an antidepressant and it's been helping considerably. I've been feeling more patient (I used to be a really patient person... motherhood, huh?) and more capable of being a parent of multiple kids. I'm really settling in to being a mom of 2. This morning, I even got in a shower before the boys were awake! Win!

Back to nursing, I finished a "super fun" week of antibiotics yesterday because I had mastitis. I think it started because I had a fast let-down and Augie would bite to slow it down, which made the nipple hurt, which made me avoid nursing on that side, which made plugged ducts, which turned into mastitis. So fun. But in the last few days, I've been not hating nursing both sides! I still prefer one, but that's because I'm not a lefty. On the other hand, Milo has refused to eat almost everything, so... If you have any ideas besides asking him what he wants, giving him things he'd usually like, trying new things, bribery, consequences, or having him help cook... let me know. I feel like we've tried everything.

Also, Milo has been more consistently refusing his afternoon nap, which I am beyond tired about. If that even makes any sense. At least Augie is napping pretty regularly and going to bed at a pretty usual time so that I can still have a little rest. I really think it's because Milo was on a good schedule so we could just fit Augie right in there. But, like everything in life, our schedule is ever changing. Great. Parenting is fuuuuuun and not frustrating or stressful in the sliiiiiighhhttesssssssttttt.

Not everything is awful about Milo! (even though he also refuses to learn how to blow his own nose that is running like a river because of the disgusting inversion). His imagination is fantastic, he has lots of energy, and he is still really funny. He's also a pretty good big brother helper in that he loves putting soap in the laundry, bringing me diapers and wipes, and will help me clean up. He doesn't have too many accidents and has almost learned to tell me he needs to go before he pees his pants.

Anyway, we're doing pretty well over here. And Christmas is on its way! We're really excited for Milo to have his first interactive Christmas and for Augie to be with us then too! Here's to 2018 being less eventful than this year! 😆

 Love,
Ellen

Thanksgiving 2017

It’s been one of those incredibly frustrating nights of being a parent. I’m writing this while Im trying to put Augie down for the second time tonight. He’s been stuffy and gassy and hungry a lot lately and it’s really taken a toll on my sanity. I’m pretty sure there hasn’t been a conversation where I haven’t forgotten what I’m saying in the last 2 weeks. I know this can’t last forever, but it’s also crazy difficult to see through the haze.

However, even during the difficult times I’m lucky that I tend to also look for the blessings. Like I did during Sean’s surgery, I could relatively easily point out the things that went right when it felt like everything was wrong. Even though I’m losing sleep and cognitive ability, I have 2 amazing little boys who make me smile every day and an incredible husband who takes on a good load of work around the house. 

I’m grateful that these three are all home safe and healthy after a long year of medical trials and that we have decent insurance so we’re not paying the full $130,000 dollars we owe. I’m grateful for the experiences that we’ve had that have brought us closer together and for the family and friends who’ve helped us shoulder the burden with babysitting, meals, and long talks. 

I’m grateful that I’m able to be what I’ve always wanted to be. When I was little, I’d play Mom all the time, even going so far as to stuff toys up my shirt pretending to be pregnant. I love playing Mom with the kids I’ve been blessed with and it’s even better than I imagined, even with the hard days.

I’m grateful for an exceptional husband. He brings out the best in me and makes me happy. I still get butterflies when he comes home at the end of the day (whether I’m just glad to see him or I’m in dire need of parenting help). 

I’m grateful for parents and a sister whose relationships I’ve been able to grow and mend this past year. I know I’m not always the best daughter/sister, but I’m glad to be able to be working at it. 

Thanksgiving is my absolute most favorite holiday and I’m so glad I got to host my parents this year and that it all went so well. (Yes, now I’m finishing writing this after a good, delicious Thanksgiving) Now onto Christmas with 2 super kids! Yay!

Live & Learn

Tonight was a rough night. Well... the entire day has been rough. Lately, Milo has been regressing. He’s had maybe a dozen potty accidents in the past few days, he’s denying everything I tell him (even if it’s blatantly obvious. For example- Me: “we’re at home” Milo: “we’re NOT at home.”), and he’s been especially whiney. I knew this would happen because it usually does with a new baby around, but I was really hoping it wouldn’t. 

Yesterday, I was less patient and more demanding. Sean was the good parent then and helped him through his big emotions. Tonight, after pushing in nursery and yelling at/hitting Dad and having yet another potty accident, I took the role of reasonable parent and tried to help explain the emotions to him. We talked about what makes us sad and happy and why we shouldn’t push and how we should go to the potty before we pee our pants like big kids.

When he finally got in bed, Augie woke up from a too-short nap and then just started screaming for a solid half hour. I tried everything. Nursing, bottle, pacifier, rocking, singing, gas drops, changing his diaper and clothes... nada. Finally, I just put him on my shoulder and hugged him tight while I tried to figure out a next step. Within minutes, he was out. All he needed was a hug. 

It’s so easy to jump to frustration and consequences when little kids misbehave, especially when the misbehaving has been going on for days. Days like these are important for both parents and kids, I feel, because we each need to recognize and identify emotions and learn how to cope with them. 

Of course, there are still consequences for Milo’s inability to listen to instructions. Tomorrow he will have to help clean up all the hundreds of toys that are out in the living room (I’m counting each hot wheels car as an individual toy, plus all the other things that are out) and work hard to remember to say he has to potty before an accident happens. But, along with that there are rewards like popcorn for snack time after he helps clean and a special grocery store treat if his undies can stay dry for the entire day. Plus, tomorrow we’re having a family night about nice/naughty and happy/sad. Here’s hoping it goes well and is a lesson learned. 

Now to bust out the pretzel m&ms and watch a few shows before crashing out for the night. 

Introducing Augie

 August "Augie" Orion Donner

born September 21, 2017

12:04 AM

7 lbs., 20 in.

Augie was born at 37w4d.

A day or so before, I was measuring at almost a 4 and had my membranes stripped. The day of started normal and then gradually I knew something was happening.

At around 4:30pm, I rallied the troops. My friend Kaylene came to take Milo till my sister Abby could come take care of him for the night. My parents came to the hospital and I very slowly started dilating. After a few hours of resting and walking around the hospital, I finally started progressing fast enough to be set up for delivery. They started pitocin and I had an epidural shortly after that.This time, the epidural didn’t completely numb my legs so I could still move them on my own, but I didn’t feel any pain still!


Around 11:45 on September 20, I was ready to push. In fact, Augie’s head was already crowning on its own. (Back story: Milo was born the morning after Sean’s dad’s birthday and we really wanted Augie to be born the day after My dad’s birthday and that just happened to be the 20th!)

We finished watching the baseball game and joking with the doctors and nurses in the room until midnight and then 4 pushes later, Augie was born! They cleaned him up, took care of me (only a small tear even though he was sunny-side up like Milo was. These boys!) and then I got to hold him for maybe 15 minutes. The entire time we were doing the skin-to-skin, Augie was grunting and squirming and turning more purple. Something didn’t seem entirely right, and the nurse came and took him to their small NICU.

Augie’s lungs weren’t filling all the way with air. Our pediatrician came and took care of him and gave him a dose of surfactant to try and get the air sacs to fill up while he was on oxygen. That didn’t work and they didn’t have all the things they needed or the room for him at the hospital I delivered him at, so they strapped him and the oxygen and feeding tubes and whatever else to a gurney and wheeled him in to say goodbye to me before being transferred by ambulance to the big hospital the next town over. That was around 10 in the morning after a night of intermittent rest and belly pushing and Augie updates.

It was heartbreaking seeing him in the tiny incubator box on the gurney, but I knew he’d be safe and better taken care of in the big NICU. They put him on oxygen and cpap and iv fluids when they got there and then gradually started weaning him of oxygen.

I was discharged the next morning and then hurried over with Sean to see him. I got to hold him, even with all the tubes and wires attached. The nurses that took care of him were all so sweet and so excited to see his progress. Everyone we talked to was pleasantly surprised at how fast he progressed. He nursed well a few times, took formula just fine, and passed all the NICU graduation tests and we were able to take him home after only 2.5 days!

He’s been home for a few weeks now and has fit right into our family perfectly. He and I are learning to nurse well and I have more than 100oz of breast milk frozen already. I’ll have to do a post about the difference it’s been nursing vs formula feeding with Milo. It’s been interesting! He sleeps pretty well at night (he's gotten up to 5 hour stretches) and generally only wakes up once between the time we get to bed to the time everyone wakes up for the day. He's super strong and is not a fan of diaper changes. We're all in love with baby Augie and we can't wait to see the kind of kid he grows up to be!


Milo is a fantastic big brother. He’s kept up well with potty training and is so sweet with Augie and loves to check in on him and give him soft head kisses ("What's Augie doin', Mom?" every few minutes. He's usually still sleeping or eating). There's still days when we struggle (thus is life with a newborn and a 2 year old), but I'm feeling pretty confident in my abilities and I'm so grateful for these boys of mine. Today I got a bunch of stuff done (laundry, dishes, picking up toys, gathering garbage, showering, nursing while eating breakfast, keeping 2 kids alive and not losing my sanity!), so I'm feeling pretty good. 

Lots of Docs and our Road Trip

So Sean and I have never been to a dentist since we've been married. I know, I know. BUT, this week we each have appointments and Milo has one as well and I have a separate appointment for my permanent retainer that's been bothering me the past couple days. Yay, adulthood!

Milo had his 2 year checkup recently and all is well with him. Our new doctor here seemed really impressed with his ability to communicate and his energy level (high, obviously). Milo is now 2 feet 10 inches tall, weighing 27 pounds 9 ounces. His head is in the 70th percentile. Everything is looking good with him and he was so excited to tell the doctor about anything that came to his mind.

Yesterday was my 28 week appointment with Augie. I took the glucose test (which wasn't nearly as bad as last time because I came prepared with a good book and full phone battery) and haven't heard anything back about it, so I probably passed(?). I also got a Tdap shot and am measuring normal.

Sean hasn't had any issues with his head lately besides the numb spot feeling weird (possibly regaining feeling?).

We started potty training this weekend and... it's going about as well as it could. He had 2 big pees in the potty, a few small accidents, one big accident, missed his nap (which, subsequently spiraled into him needing a timeout for smacking my face), and it's going fine. We're doing the "trained in a weekend" method and it's going fine. Sean and I are both tired already, but if it works and we don't have to buy 2 sizes of diapers, then it's worth it. If you have any tips or tricks that might help us in this method, please share! I'm sure naps help.. but that's not always something I can control.

Anyway, other than all that, there's not much going on until Augie shows up!

JK

We also just got back from Milo's first big road trip to MN. We were in the car for 2 straight days there and 2 straight days back (with a break for sleep in Gillette in the middle). We stayed with Sean's parents with his youngest brother and his family, went camping in St. Croix for a family reunion, visited Sean's oldest brother and his family for a while, went to the Mall of America's aquarium, and had a little party for Milo on his birthday!

It was a lot of fun! Exhausting, as I bet you can imagine, but it's always nice to visit with family and see some sights. Milo did really well in the car the whole time and slept really well no matter where we were (he only missed one nap on the very first day of driving). He also loved playing with his friends and cousins there and running around in the great outdoors, not something he gets to do a lot here.